Wednesday, November 12, 2008

How a Christian Should Vote

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago. Now that we know who is the next president, this sort of seems obsolete. Let's continue to pray for President Elect Obama and pray that he has great things in store for this nation.
This upcoming election has me thinking about lots of things. I have never before researched candidates and what they stand for. The first election I voted in was Bush/Kerry 2004. I voted for Bush only because it was a vote against Kerry. I knew nothing of either candidate's platform or what their opinions were of social issues. I was in church last Sunday when my brilliant pastor began describing the apathy of today's voters. Just recently I have been heavily researching John McCain and Barack Obama's policies and issues. This is not the place for me to get into who I will be voting for. I would love to talk to you privately about that, but I have my mind made up. How, then, did I make up my mind? I turned to the Bible. There are four things to do when voting.

1. Vote intellectually, knowledgably, and with wisdom. Know the candidates. Put aside your party affiliations and really take a look at the issues that are of the most importance in this election. Is McCain's temper going to affect his chances of going to the oval office? Will Obama's lack of experience prevent him acceptance? Don't just get out there and vote for Obama because he looks better in HD. Get to know his relationship with William Ayers, his stance on abortion and his healthcare plan. Don't vote for McCain just because he has plenty of experience in Washington D.C. or because he is a military hero. Vote for the best candidate, and not the best looking candidate. The same happened in 1960 with Kennedy and Nixon. Kennedy attracted the undecided voters because he looked better on television, while Nixon looked haggard and was sporting a five o-clock shadow. Proverbs 10:14 says, "Wise men store up knowledge." Become knowledgeable in the two candidates. Believe me, these two candidates are extremely different in what they believe. Those who are undecided may not have done enough research on each candidate to form a valid opinion. Get out there and research McCain and Obama.

2. Vote unselfishly. Philippians 2: 3-4 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." John F. Kennedy said "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." Let's get back to that mindset. Stop saying to McCain "I will vote for you, but first you must do something for me." Don't ask Obama how he can help you. This election is not about you but for this country. We are blessed in the fact that we get the chance to elect our own leader. How many countries get this chance?

3. Vote morally and spiritually. Matthew 6: 33 says to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." We need to seek God first and honor Him. If we do this and put our faith in Him, then He will fix the economy, energy crisis, etc. Get right with God. Proverbs 14: 34 says that "righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people." There are some issues that should be of more importance. The Catholic church has a really great commercial out right now that says "some issues are more important than others" and has a picture of a beautiful, innocent child next to a pump displaying the high price of gas. The value of life should be more important than the major issues both candidates are talking about. What is really important? To Christians it should be justice, the poor, morals and not money or the economy. It should be the spiritual characteristics of each candidate and how they truly feel.

4. Finally, vote prayerfully. If you are worried about this election then turn your worries into prayer. Philippians 4: 6-7 says "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." We know God will take care of this great nation, if we ask Him to. Billy Graham once said that in order for a nation to get on its feet we first need to get on our knees.

Just know that whoever gets into the oval office, it is God who is ultimately in charge. He is still in control and never comes up for reelection every four years. I may never stand in front of a president, but I will one day stand before God.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Phil 4:12. . . ok, 13 too.

I know that these next few months will be some of the most difficult of my life. I mean, come December I will be finally finished with something that has taken me about 18 years to complete. 18 years. Wow. What comes next, though, is in His hands.

It has taken me awhile, but I now feel absolutely confident that whatever the future holds for me I will embrace it confidently. Why, then, has it taken me so long to come to this point? Have I been too scared of the future to finally let God take control? Have I been too selfish by putting myself out there before I confide in Him? I don't really have the answers, but I am at once content.

Philippians 4:12 says, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." What comes next is one of my favorites: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Awesome. That is all I need. Those simple words. So often overlooked. This contentment is a long time coming. I mean, to be content is basically the act of giving up. Follow along:

Once we get a hold of something (money, power, love) we immediately want more. We have never experienced this sense of power, so it feels nice. All of a sudden we are getting attention and acclaim. What comes next is more. Just a little more. Wait, why not a little more. This idea of contentment is so foreign to us that it takes more than our own willpower to overcome- it takes the Almighty Incarnate working inside of us. It is like an addiction, this greed. Once it can be overcome, then comes contentment?

OK, pretty sure I am just rambling now. Anyway, the point being, I am finally content. I am in no way settling, but I am finally at that point in my life where I am so incandesently happy that I am content with whatever comes my way. Be it a new career, more school, or something so out-of-character that I never see it coming. Poing being- I am ready.

So, that was just a bunch of rambling. Sorry. I realized that I had not posted a blog since the Paleolithic Era, so I figured I would try out the new technology. Wow! This computer thing is swell!

Life, at present, is grand. I am basking in His glory daily and what an amazing feeling it is. I don't totally understand what His plans are for me and I am perfectly OK with that. I love surprises.

School update: Graduation date is December 13th. I think. Maybe it is the 12th. Whatever. I want you all to be there. It would mean the world to me. You know, to the three people who read this blog, anyway!

Robert: He's great. I'm quite smitten.

So, that is about all for now. Check back later!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Unhappy 21 to you

Today, May 23, is one of those days on the calendar that I wish no longer exists. What used to be a joyous day, full of cake, candles and presents is now full of just memories. No new memories will be made, however. No new memories have been made on this day since 2005. It was on that day that I gave him the necklace that I so carefully wear. It was on that day that he was no longer self-reliant on his walker. It was on that day he turned 18.

What seems like ages ago is just still so fresh. The Angel Foundation gave the entire family a gift card to Cagle's and we pigged out on steak. Especially Jacob, who regained his appetite at the right time. Jacob's nurses and doctors gave him a gift card to Best Buy so he could buy a radio for his truck. Not one of the cheap ones, mind you, but a real fancy one that I covet to this day.

This is where my memory ends. I cannot for the life of me remember what we did after we ate dinner. Did we go see a movie? Probably not; Jacob could not sit still long enough. Was there dessert involved? Most definitely, I am sure. Did we all just go back to Anton? Probably, since Jacob had not much strength left. I'm sure the evening wore him out.

A few days later he graduated, and a few days after that he died. I still hate myself for not giving him his present that night. He went to sleep early and I had a present for him that I had left in my car. By the time I remembered I had it, it was too late to give it to him. I laid it on his couch, wanting it to be a surprise for him in the morning when he woke up. He never woke up. He never saw it. He never used it.

I would like to think that if he knew he had a present coming he would have hung on for one more day. One more night. One more week...month...year. I am glad he died peacefully at home, in the comforts of his bed, instead of connected to wires and tubes.

I miss him everyday. Someone walks past me wearing his cologne and triggers a new memory. Someone yells out "Jacob" and I automatically turn my head, expecting to see him just walking toward me with outstretched arms, ready to embrace me in a hug. I saw someone the other day that I had not seen in years. She asked how the family was, and when I did not mention Jacob, she asked how he was. It took everything that I had to control myself as I told this person my brother had died a few years back. I had my hands in my pocket and I was just pinching myself, so the tears would not flow. I bit my tongue. I looked at the floor as she began crying and embracing me in a hug with the obligatory "I'm sorry." As she walked away a single tear began to fall, but I needed to be strong in that moment. I needed to be strong for him. There are times when I weep so hard that I literally pass out. There are times when a single tear will fall and I am done. There are times that I remember some hilarious thing Jacob did and I burst out laughing, often times followed by tears. Tears of joy and happiness.

However much pain I still have, I know that he is pain free. He is with my God in Heaven, looking down on me as I become a woman totally devoted to Christ. I have learned so much from Jacob's death, and from him in general. I have matured beyond means, and that is only because of Jacob. My spirituality has been awaken and my journey with God is in no way stagnant. Each day is truly a gift from God, and I have learned to cherish each day. I am now fully awake and ready ready to live the life God, and Jacob, have set me out for.

My dear sweet brother: I love you. Much like the Mad Hater says, Happy un-birthday to you.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

i watched the proverbial sunrise

There is some sort of satisfying feeling in owning your own DVD. I'm not sure why, but I enjoy buying movies. One can say I am addicted. I recently started a new third job solely to expand my current DVD collection. OK, not the only reason (gas, food, rent, water, etc.) but you get the point.

My name is Jordan and I have a problem. I cannot stop. This month alone I have bought nine DVDs. NINE! But, they are all used, so you know, I can justify my spending...in a way.

I have no problem buying a used DVD. I think it has character. You see, not only do I buy the used DVD, I also come up with an elaborate back story to who the previous owner/s was/were. Take, for example the few movies I recently bought:

Emma: Thomas and Emily just ended their two year relationship. Emily somehow left her copy of Emma at Thomas's house, having only watched it once. She knew Thomas was not an Austen fan, so she did not want to bother him with that "trash." Thomas wanted to rid his apartment of all things Emily so he went to Hasting's and traded Emma for Die Hard or some other masculine movie. He realized that John McClane was nothing special and never finished the mediocre flick. He immediately began to miss looking at Gwyneth Paltrow aiming an arrow at his skull.

Serenity: I have a feeling that an older woman, Mrs. Bates, bought the movie solely for the title alone. After losing her husband of 37 years, she needed a sense of sereneness; tranquility. Apparently the giant space ship (named Serenity) and Nathan Fillion shooting a laser gun did not catch Mrs. Bates's cataract ridden eyes. She finished the movie, only because she fell asleep ten minutes in.

Arrested Development Season 2: See, this one took a while. I mean, I cannot understand why someone would sell this amazing series. Makes no sense to me. I figured the only way this would be on the used rack is because someone was not smart enough to get all the subtle jokes. I image some high school kid, lets call him David, tried watching the show (start with season 1, dude) and just did not get it. I mean, this season contained the most elaborate jokes I have ever seen. Very brief rundown: Matriarch of the Bluth family is Lucille 1 (Liza Minelli plays Lucille 2 who briefly dates Buster). She has four children -- GOB (pronounced Job), twins Michael and Lindsey and the youngest son Buster. GOB inadvertently marries a seal trader (yes, she trades seals....live seals) and is left in charge of caring for them as she does a tour in Iraq. Lucille volunteered paranoid Buster for the Army, much to his disappointment. Buster is trying to find ways to get out of the Army and has failed to succeed. Lucille is having an affair with her imprisoned husband's twin brother (who may or may not be Buster's real father) and this angers Buster. Buster (who is at least 30) is not allowed to swim in the ocean. He defies his mother and swims alone in the ocean. An onlooker shouts from the beach "Loose seal, watch out, loose seal!" Buster responds by saying he no longer cares about Lucille. Next thing we know the loose seal bites off his hand. The same seal GOB was supposed to be watching. Buster gets a hook for a hand and able to get out of going into the Army. Now, this entire joke took about 13 episodes to complete. Anyway, David traded Arrested Development in for The Simpsons. Ehh.

Finally: Running With Scissors: Emily bought this movie for her three year old daughter, thinking it was some sort of teaching tool. It was not some sort of teaching tool. Emily decided to keep the movie for a while because she liked Gwyneth Paltrow and some reason her copy of Emma was lost many years ago. She decides to abandon the movie and cook chicken fettucini with green peppers while she teaches her daughter not to run with scissors. Apparently coloring on walls and shoving the seven month old baby into the dryer are alright in Emily's house, but scissor running is not permitted. It must be said that Emily works from home, i.e. house wife, while her husband sells insurance for a living. No, changed my mind, he works for Bob Loblaw: Attorney at Law.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

DVD Review: Enchanted


When the first trailers of “Enchanted” were released months ago, I was a little apprehensive to seeing this film. Disney has had a rough couple of years, and many of their more recent films do not live up to their classics. Since I grew up loving all things Disney, I gave in and saw the movie (five times) in the theatre.

I guess the best way to do a movie these days is to live in the glory of others, while making fun of them and putting their own twist on things. This is exactly what “Enchanted” does. The writer of “Enchanted” (Bill Kelly) decided to poke fun at classics such as “The Little Mermaid,” “Sleeping Beauty,” “Snow White,” “Cinderella,” “Beauty and the Beast,” “The Lady and the Tramp,” and “The Sound of Music.” Instead of creating a farce, Kelly created a true modern day Disney classic. Forget Ariel, Belle, and Snow White; I want to be Giselle. Not only is she beautiful, hilarious, and a fantastic singer, but she spends her days with one Patrick Dempsey. What “Enchanted” does do is put a fresh story into motion, with Amy Adams holding the reigns.

“Enchanted” is a surprisingly and unexpectedly great movie, but not only for the superb acting of Amy Adams. Before “Enchanted,” Adams was a little known Academy Award nominated actress (and Jim’s girlfriend in a few episodes of “The Office”); now she is a bona fide star. Adams plays Giselle, a not-yet princess from animated Andalasia, who falls into live-action Times Square. The sight of Adams singing and dancing through Central Park, cleaning with rats and pigeons, and becoming less animated is one of the best comedic performances I’ve seen all year. Adams manages to not be too over the top; instead her porcelain skin shines with awe and wonder and her beautiful blue eyes take in the strange world with understanding and acceptance. She is such a joy to watch on the screen.

You see, Giselle is looking for her prince and begins singing “True Love’s Kiss.” She meets her prince, handsome and aloof Edward (played brilliantly by James Marsden), and after the three minute song are engaged to be married. Wow. Problem: the Queen of Andalasia, Narissa (Susan Sarandon), turns herself into an evil hag and pushes Giselle down a well; the bottom of the well turns out to be live-action New York City. Narissa is Edward’s step-mother, and if he gets married then she loses her throne.

Soon Giselle is thrust into the busy New York City night life, and while looking for Edward on top of a billboard advertisement, literally falls into the arms of divorce lawyer Robert (Patrick Dempsey) who agrees to put her up for the night while she waits for her prince to come.

Edward, along with the help of his traitorous servant Nathaniel (Timothy Spall) and Pip, a chipmunk, scower the streets of New York in search of his beloved Giselle. Nathaniel has been given three poisonous apples by Queen Narissa to help get rid of Giselle. Edward is such a cute little ditz running around in his giant sleeves and tights, oblivious to Nathaniel’s plan, while little Pip tries to inform Edward of the situation. No luck.

Meanwhile, Giselle is getting to know Robert and his six-year old daughter, Morgan (Rachel Covey). She cleans up their house with city animals (cockroaches, pigeons, rats, flies, mice) to the fabulous tune “Happy Working Song.” She runs through Central Park in an even more fabulous, and very impressive choreographed number “That’s How You Know.” She makes dresses out of Robert’s curtains. She eats hot dogs and wonders how the shower delivers water to her. She learns the rules of dating and tells fairy tales that we are not familiar with.

While spending time with Robert, she realizes she might be developing feelings for him, but he is about to propose to long time girlfriend Nancy (the multi-talented Idina Menzel). Both Giselle and Robert try to ignore their ever growing feelings for each other.
It soon comes time for her to decide between one over-moussed, handsome lawyer, or her handsome, oblivious prince. Such hard choices! The decision is made during a beautiful dance to the song “So Close” (sung by Jon McLaughlin). That particular scene had this twenty-two year squeeing like a tween. Such a beautiful scene. Then is it interrupted by a Narissa dragon, who takes Robert hostage. Technicalities.

The movie takes a slight downward spiral toward the last thirty minutes, but the first hour or so makes up for it. The movie ends with the omniscient voice of Julie Andrews and a happily ever after.

The DVD includes deleted scenes, bloopers (with Adams being hysterical while flubbing her lines and speaking an alien-like language…just watch it), making-of featurettes, a music video by Carrie Underwood, and an adorable Pip pop-up adventure. Apparently the Blu-ray disc contains more “secrets” to filming, but I don’t own a Blu-ray machine. Oh well.

The songs (sung by the actors) are amazing and garnered three Academy Award nominations. My only problem with the acting is the underused Susan Sarandon (who plays evil so well) and that the Tony award winning Broadway actress Idina Menzel’s beautiful voice was not somehow used. Other than that, the acting was top notch and the storyline was not believable at all. All the great makings of a classic Disney film. I give this movie four chap scratches.

The movie is rated PG for some scary images and mild innuendo. Things like a pigeon eating a cockroach and a forty foot dragon might scare the little ones, but it is fun for the whole family!




Monday, March 10, 2008

Answer me this

More than anyone wanted to know:
1. Do you hate the last guy you texted? Can't stand Aaron. In truth, he is a great guy.
2. When is the last time you took a nap? I had time to take a nap a few years ago.
3. Do you only drink bottled water? Tap water is free but bottled drinking water tastes good. And, hopefully, there are no drugs in the water I had to pay for.
4. What are you listening to right now? Whatever is on the TV.
5. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Dad(dy).
6. To text you? Tanis.
7. To send you a Myspace message? Cousin Caitlin. Or, as she is called around my apartment: Lemondrop.
8. Drinking anything? Had some chocolate milk a bit ago.
9. Something that happened today that made you angry? There was this bear that attacked me and stole my leftovers. Bears are indeed the number one threat to America.
10. Have you dated anyone on your top friends? That Victor Frankenstein was a mistake. All he wanted to do was make his hideous monster.
11. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? Depends on who I am talking to.
12. Do you wear makeup? Only when my sister makes me.
13. Are you missing someone? Always.
14. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? For the most part. I am pretty easy to forgive.
15. What instant messaging service do you use? Don't use any anymore
16. How many people have you texted today? Aaron, coolest sister ever!, Tanis
17. What did you do last night? Dairy Queen after church with the crew and paperwriting (ie youtubing videos).
18.What color is your hair? blondish
19. Where was the last place you hugged someone? My mom in the parking lot of TGI Friday's
20. Who was the last person you talked to in person besides family? The roommate, Bree.
21. What do you want most right now? A new job.
22. What are you doing tonight? Playing "Family Feud" on the computer; watching movies; procrastinatin'.
23. How about tomorrow? Actually go to class, tons of schoolwork, movie watching.
24. Is your phone right beside you? Totally, dude.
25. Are you cold? Idealic.
26. What are you looking forward to in the next few months? Spring Break, end of semester, hypothetical road trip.
27. What color is your bed spread? Dark red and black
28. What does your best friend call you? Jordan. Pumpernickel. Hey You. Yo. Jennifer. Frankie...
29. Would you prefer a thunderstorm or for it to be snowing? Snowing. You can't make things out of rain!
30. Who do you call the most? Zaphod Beeblebrox
31. Have you ever kissed just a friend? Nope.
32. Have you ever fought for the opposite sex? Stupid!
33. Ever dyed your hair? Don't want to talk about it...
34. Last time you cried? Been a while.
35. Are you good at keeping secrets? Most definitely. Unless the secret is harmful to others.
36. Did you participate in gym class? Not recently.
37. What is the closest framed picture? No framed pictures in the kitchen
38. What did you do today? Laziness.
39. What does your last text message in your inbox say? Lol anytime... :-). I love Tanis!
40. Do you crack your knuckles? They pretty much crack themselves.
41. What color is your cell phone? Black as black can be.
42. Do you believe there's always room in your heart for your first love? Sure
43. What color is your sofa? We have covers on them but one is now a chocolate brown and the other is a kind of mint green.
44. What kind of tattoos do you want/have? 2/1. One more; something to do with Jacob's name.
45. Do you give special ringtones to certain people? Anytime my phone rings it is the Scrantones playing the Office theme song. Love it!!!
46. Do you like anyone? More like unhealthy infatuations. Case in point: fictional Jim Halpert and the fictionally perfect Mr. Darcy.
47. Do you have or want a belly button ring? No and no.
48. When was the last time you went out of town? I went to Lamesa a few months ago. Does that count?:
49. What color shirt are you wearing? Gray tank top.
50. Are you on a desktop or a laptop? More specifically, a Toshiba Satellite laptop, but it is not on my lap. It is atop the kitchen table.
51. Where did you get everything you are wearing? Dillard's. Dillard's. Target.
52. What color is your key board? Keyboard is one word. Gray.
53. What did you last cook? I put some waffles in the toaster. Then, I smothered them in peanut butter, chocolate syrup and pancake syrup. Yummy!
54. Watching anything on TV? Bree is watching "That 70's Show" in the living room.
55. What color is your shower curtain? Chocolate brown, tan, sand brown, and mint green.
56. Wearing any jewelry? The cross necklace that once belonged to Jacob.
57. Anything irritating you right now? My eyes hurt.
58. Read anything interesting lately? Always. "Atonement" was amazing! I stayed up until 4 am reading it and it was not even assigned. "Mrs. Dalloway" was pretty good. "The Power of Myth" was also great. "Jude the Obscure" was incredibly depressing.
59. How was your last test? Had an essay exam over "Jude the Obscure" Wednesday. Maybe did ok.
60. Anything hurt on your body? Back still.
61. How big is your bed? Full.
62. What color is your iPod? White. Unless it has my iPod case on and then it is orange. I also have an iSock and it is blue.
63. What kind of underwear are you wearing? Comfortable cotton ones.
64. What is your most valued possession? Bible. Pictures.
65. What is your favorite sport? It's what the English call Football. Also, disc golf is pretty fun.
66. What kind of deoderant do you use? Prescription strength CertainDri and Dove invisible solid. Sometimes works.
67. What is your favorite subject? My English Studies course this semester. Very interesting.
68. Do you have any house cleaning to do? Pretty much always.
69. What are your favorite colors? Apple number 4
70. What day time talk shows do you watch? Ellen...if I am home.
71. What about night time? Conan...if I remember.

More:
Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Sure
What have you learned today? The Rice Krispie treats I made a few weeks ago are no longer any good.
Do you like to smile? I love to smile. Smiling is my favorite.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Eh, I would rather not grow up.
What time do you usually wake up on the weekends? Saturday about 9:30 to be at work at 10. Sunday about 8:15 (more like 8:30) to be at church at 9:20. I sleep later during the week.
Do you like peanut butter? Love it!
Should country music die? It's pretty good.
If you could live in any country, where would you live? Magrathea. Or Slartibartfast. (I've got to stop watching "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
Are there too many commercials on tv? Oh yes.
How many times have you moved? Baytown to different house in Baytown Crosby to different house in Crosby to Southland to different house in Southland to Spade to Anton to different house in Anton to different house in Anton to LCU dorms to apartment.
What were you like in High School? Nerdy. Jockish. Overachieving.
Scuba diving or Sky diving? How about sky diving in a scuba suit.
Is there anyone you'd die for? Most definitely.
Spell your name without an E,R,S,H,K,I,M,A,: Jodn Dn Wll
Are you happy with your life right now? I am most content.
Are you outgoing? Mostly socially awkward
Is it easy for people to make you smile? I'm easily amused.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night? About 6.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Not to change, only to observe. Have you ever been too drunk to remember anything? Don't drink, therefore never been drunk.
What are you doing tomorrow? Shakespeare class with Carole L. Carroll, Islam and Culture with Stacy Patty, eat a few meals in between...
What color are your socks? One is orange with blue stripes and a hole the other is purple with black penguins on it.
Who was the last person in your house? Besides the roommate, it was the sister.
How do you run your days? Slowly. I don't like to run. I take things at a moderate stroll.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Why I Won't Eat Chocolate Skittles

I was at Wal-Mart getting some groceries the other day when I was standing in the checkout line reading titles like "Jesus Found Frozen With Al Capone and Two-Headed Alien!" and "Loose Ninety Pounds in a Week!" and "Mother Eats Baby and Then Herself!" and became bored so I wanted to check out the candy because I looove candy. What I saw next will haunt me for life. There, on the shelf, were chocolate Skittles. Yes, chocolate. Skittles. What? I mean, Skittles are some of my favorite candy and I enjoy the simple pleasures it brings my mouth. You have your five basic flavors: green, purple, yellow, orange, and red. Your five basic colors: lime, grape, lemon, orange, and red. I mean, that is it. I only like the original Skittles, by the way. The groovy colors and the sour ones do nothing for me. But I digress.

These new Skittles have flavors like brownie, and fudge, and chocolate and even brown. Brown is not a flavor! It is a color! The Skittles just look disgusting, and I will not try them. Ever. You cannot make me. If I want brownines, then I will get them out of a box. I don't need them in candy form. If I wanted fudge I would get my grandmother to make it and send it to me. If I wanted brown I would work for UPS.

So, in short, I am boycotting all Skittles. As much as it pains me to say it, it is true. No more. I think I am going to stick with Twizzler's, Starburts, and Sour Patch Kids.

Yes, kids, it is true. Yours truly, Jordan Williams, has gotten a tattoo. It is only two years in the making, believe it or not. I wanted something that means something special to me-the two loves in my life: Jesus, and Jacob. The tattoo is a heart with a cross through it. The heart is not complete because it will only be complete again when I see him in Heaven. The cross has a hook on the end because no matter what, Jesus has me. I am hooked to Him, forever. On the cross is a nail, to serve as a reminder of why I am hooked and all that Jesus has done for me. Also, the cross is based off of the necklace that I wear. It was once Jacob's, and I gave it to him right before he died.

I'm not sure if the tattoo is complete, yet. I wanted to put Jacob's name is Hebrew on the cross, but the tattoo would have to have been bigger. Maybe one day I will get his name put on there, but not now.

This was truly a spur of the moment decision. I went into the tattoo shop to pierce the cartilage on my ear, and came out with a tattoo. Crazy. I do not regret it though. Maybe one day I will, but for now, I am happy. Now, I have to tell the parents...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Come What May

The beginning is always the hardest. And then comes the middle where you expect there to be some sort of momentary lapse, but nothing happens. It only gets more difficult. The end comes next and you know that if you can only get past it then things will be complete. You reach the climax and everything sorts of falls out of place. It's as if I am trying to solve the Mad Hatter's riddle and can come up with nothing, knowing full well that there is no answer available.

I figured that since I am getting close to graduating that I would be excited. What is the opposite of excited? That's what I am. I have no clue what I want to do with my life, and this scares me to no end. You see, the thing is my life is only beginning. I am about to start my life. Sure, I am almost 22 and most say life begins at the point of conception, but I will have to disagree. I mean, for about 19 years all I have ever done is school. That is it. Pretty much the only thing that I have ever commited to. My entire life all I have known is school, so what comes next? More school is always an option, I guess. But that means even more money.

I have faith that the pieces will fall together so perfectly that life can only be explained by my doings.

The thing is, I am all too often scared. Scared that I will fail at life. Scared that I will not will find my true potential, whatever that may be. Scared that I go my way and not His way. I need faith. I need strengthening. I need peace.

I am finding myself already behind this semester. Having to read over 100 pages a night takes it toll, especially when I am not reading nearly enough. Having a paper due every class period. Two jobs is not cutting it, and I feel as if a third would be too much.

It takes a lot to get me stressed, but this, whatever it is, is coming in waves. Stress? Vehemence? Apathy? Who knows.