I know that these next few months will be some of the most difficult of my life. I mean, come December I will be finally finished with something that has taken me about 18 years to complete. 18 years. Wow. What comes next, though, is in His hands.
It has taken me awhile, but I now feel absolutely confident that whatever the future holds for me I will embrace it confidently. Why, then, has it taken me so long to come to this point? Have I been too scared of the future to finally let God take control? Have I been too selfish by putting myself out there before I confide in Him? I don't really have the answers, but I am at once content.
Philippians 4:12 says, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." What comes next is one of my favorites: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Awesome. That is all I need. Those simple words. So often overlooked. This contentment is a long time coming. I mean, to be content is basically the act of giving up. Follow along:
Once we get a hold of something (money, power, love) we immediately want more. We have never experienced this sense of power, so it feels nice. All of a sudden we are getting attention and acclaim. What comes next is more. Just a little more. Wait, why not a little more. This idea of contentment is so foreign to us that it takes more than our own willpower to overcome- it takes the Almighty Incarnate working inside of us. It is like an addiction, this greed. Once it can be overcome, then comes contentment?
OK, pretty sure I am just rambling now. Anyway, the point being, I am finally content. I am in no way settling, but I am finally at that point in my life where I am so incandesently happy that I am content with whatever comes my way. Be it a new career, more school, or something so out-of-character that I never see it coming. Poing being- I am ready.
So, that was just a bunch of rambling. Sorry. I realized that I had not posted a blog since the Paleolithic Era, so I figured I would try out the new technology. Wow! This computer thing is swell!
Life, at present, is grand. I am basking in His glory daily and what an amazing feeling it is. I don't totally understand what His plans are for me and I am perfectly OK with that. I love surprises.
School update: Graduation date is December 13th. I think. Maybe it is the 12th. Whatever. I want you all to be there. It would mean the world to me. You know, to the three people who read this blog, anyway!
Robert: He's great. I'm quite smitten.
So, that is about all for now. Check back later!