Yup random thoughts guys. Hope you all semi-enjoy. The only thing that I ask is to not stare at the screen in a transfixed Pavlonian stare. How many of you know what I am talking about? That's what I thought. Anyways, here goes:
I'm tired of following my dreams. I should just ask them where they are going and hook up with them later
Boxers are good because they are like a back-up pair of pants.
I like BBQ because its the only time its socially acceptable to lick yourself.
Copy from one, its plagarism, copy from many its research. (yup every professor that I have ever had while in college)
No task is more pleasing to scholars than exposing the negligence, ignorance, and stupidity of their fellows
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out'?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Do you think some people really get out of bed each morning and try on purpose to do stupid things?
Why is it that your favorite thing always changes? I thought it was your favorite.
Did Jesus make his own cross? He was a carpenter you know.
Is there an animal Heaven? That would be cool to see all of my old animals
Why do I always feel pressured to buy a Taco Bell bean burrito? I prefer the double decker taco.
Can mute people burp?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
I wish that we all had jet packs and teleporters so that we could be an even lazier country.
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
I think that cash is overrated. We should go back to all coinage. That would be awesome.
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt'
Why is it that there are not more monkeys? I love monkeys
Why is that when you bark at a dog, they stop barking? Try it. It's fun.
Having a smoking section in a resturant is like having a peeing section in a pool, it effects everyone
Why is it that when you talk to God, you're praying, but when God talks to you, you're schizophrenic?
Never make someone your priority if to them you are only an option
You can't spell slaughter without laughter.
Well, hope you all enjoyed that. Believe me, there are plenty more when those came from. Again, of course not all them are mine but a lot are! So this is what I have resorted to: filling the mass void of internet land with my thoughts. Wow.